• Kyle Nunes

Girls Go to Jupiter to Get More Stupider

Updated: May 20, 2020

My first post is in honor of my sister's birthday, more importantly, Cinco De Mayo (5th of May in Spanish). Unfortunately, due to Corona Virus, we can't use her birthday this year as an excuse to throw back salted rimmed margaritas in an overly crowded, loud, and moist room. Oh, can't forget about the random women dressed in Corona crop tops serving authentic Mexican tequila! Coincidence that they were dressed in Corona tops, I think not. Anyways, missing out on this doesn't mean that I don't still love my sister, I just don't know how to express it as well without this fun juice that made my face look like this.

When I think of my sister, I think of black dots on my chest. Let me explain. When wee little me became eleven or twelve years old, still ten years away from starting puberty and becoming a man (don't worry, I'm 24) , she would perform the typewriter on me. She would tackle me with her fierce double leg take down, pinning my arms under her legs, and tapping my chest like she was using the typewriter, hence the name. The aftermath of the torture was fifty or so black dots. I suspect that these dots were tiny bruises.

Some would say it was deserved, but my mom knows better than anyone that I am always innocent because I'm the youngest.

I'd say this is a pretty good representation of my sister's strength. Not only physical, but in every part of her life. Whether it be her perseverance and dedication to the students she is with everyday, or her ability to be a leader in situations where it feels like the world is ending. She's 5'1 or 5'2 on a good day, I think. I'm not really sure, I just know she's sort of short. BUT, don't let that fool you, because she demonstrates the strength of an NFL Lineman in every aspect of her twenty eight year old life.

Okay, fine! Not in every aspect of life. I'll leave you with one last memory before we go. Over the next few years I became extremely muscular, as seen in the photo. My sister didn't know how to handle this new found confidence of mine. She couldn't perform the typewriter on me anymore. I could've easily shown her the pain of the typewriter, but I decided not to for obvious reasons. Her instincts would make her bolt at me when she became angry.

Why would she ever be angry at me? I'm not really sure to be honest. I was fourteen, minded my own business, and felt like I was right about basically everything. What is there to dislike.

As she got close, she realized she had to turn around. All it took was one time for me to no longer respond in surrender, but rather, attack. Instead of standing her ground and fighting, like I had for the past several years, she would run and yell as loud as she could. Eventually, my mom would come running down the stairs. This worked for my sister for a long time, but mom's always know best. Our punishment eventually became being locked in the same room until we got along. This punishment was disappointing for both of us, especially in the middle of our anger for each other. My sister soon learned new tactics.

This might not demonstrate her strength, but it does show her intelligence. My sister is wicked smart. Not like Albert Einstein smart, but wise. She has profound insight and experience in this crazy world. Her unique perspectives and contemplative wonderings guide her to a clever understanding of what we are meant to do.

Happiest of birthday's to this beautiful, smart, strong, funny, and driven sister of mine. Her wisdom and excitement has given me meaning and motivation in ways she could never imagine. Love you beyond belief. Don't forget to yell for mom if you ever need help.

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